My Big Evening at the Shops

Two days ago I discovered a wonderful little story that I couldn't wait to read. (Who knows whether once you've read it if it will turn out as wonderful as you thought?) But once I couldn't find it at the used bookstore, I decided to use the 10% coupon I had for Barnes and Noble.

Today right after I left work, I decided to head over to the mall straight-a-way and look for the book I wanted. But I got distracted at a department store. I needed a new white blouse, as I had tossed my old new one in the dryer one too many times. (Either that or I am gaining weight again.) I found several items I had to have. The socks sort of jumped into my line of view on my way to the cashier. I needed some new socks. Well, it wasn't a desparate need, but ever since airline security stole two pairs of my blacks socks (that I had specifically asked for for Christmas two years ago) on my way back to Denver, I have an obsession with getting black socks. So I got some. I cheerfully chatted with the girl at the register. She rang everything up, $43 and some odd cents. Wow, that was a great deal for all I got. Then she said, "Oh I didn't ring up the socks." Cha-ching! $58 and some odd cents, plus the medical bill I'd be paying later for the paramedics coming to gather me up off the floor from hyperventilating and passing out. I tried to collect myself and slumped out of the glass doors back to my car. I still had to go buy my book.

I dragged over to the bookstore next door, but of course they didn't have the book I wanted. So I had to drive across the busy six lane street to the other shopping center and try again at Books-A-Million. While in there, I remembered that when I first moved to this town, my sister told me to never go to that store. Well, I went last summer and it was wonderful. I couldn't understand her reasoning. So I told her, its fine, what's the problem? She said the customer service was less than desirable. They were great every time I had been in there, so I thought it must just be her. Funny how I thought that thought as I was scanning titles tonight. Famous last words.

I couldn't find my book, so I had to order it and I asked about another book, which was in stock, so the employee led me over to the shelf and we found it. I hurried to the register to pay in hopes of hurrying home. I waited in line and the woman in front of me signed up for the membership so it was taking longer. Another employee saw me and offered to help me. I had discovered the Reese's pumpkins at the first register and grabbed two. On the way around to the next register, I tripped and one of pumpkins flew out of my hand and landed upside down on the floor. I picked it up and noticed it cost .99 cents. Holy buckets! I told the woman, "I didn't know these cost .99 cents. I can't afford to get them." I placed them on the counter.

She rang up my items and tried to convince me to sign up for the membership. I hemmed and hawed. I tried to say no thanks, like all the other times I had been in there. I point blank asked her, "How much will it cost me tonight for all of this (an $8 book and a $3 item) if I get the membership, too?" She said, "Oh it will only be $18!" Well, I guessed $18 wasn't so bad, so I said, "Well, I guess I'll do it." She signed me up for the coveted membership and said, "That will be $31 please!" Holy cow! How did $18 suddenly turn into $31? I looked around for a nurse or paramedics nearby- I was going to need them soon.

I left the store, steam rising from my ears. She was probably speed dialing her manger at that very moment, "Hey, Harve, I just got another one!...Yeah, isn't it great? I have a real knack for this. I can smell suckers like a dog can smell fear....Yeah, aren't you glad you fired that poor nice girl Mary.... Why, thank you, I could use a raise; I just bought some new socks at the department store across the street..."