Saturday, September 5, 2009

Ode to that New Leaf

As part of turning over a new leaf, I set aside Labor Day weekend to try again at the Master Cleanse. The lemon juice diet that is supposed to last ten days. Last time I only lasted two and a half. I drink six 10 oz glasses a day. So far I have had two and a half. (I have been busy with other things) Anyway...gag. Only fifty seven and a half more glasses to go. If I make it that long. Hmm...a bowl of Reeses ice cream sounds yummy right now...but I digress.

So to keep myself occupied and my mind off food, I have spent the day on my hair. I haven't had a haircut in about five months, so it was about time. But before I got the haircut, I dyed it. I found Clairol color on sale last night at the Rite Aid and decided to go for it. I picked Cinnaberry. Kind of an auburn red, the color of Boston Baked Beans...mmm...but I digress.

Another gulp of lemon (gag) juice.

I'm not a chemist but I felt I followed the instructions very nicely. I poured the color stuff in with the white stuff and shook it. I followed this up with pouring the gooey purplish concoction on my wet hair. Over and over. As my fingers flew over my hair to work it in, some drops splattered into the sink below, reminding me of raspberry syrup...over warm buttermilk pancakes...melt in your mouth...but I digress.

It was a small bottle compared to all the contents. It seemed a bottomless pit. Eventually I had to just put it down. My hair was saturated, how much more could I use? So I waited a few minutes and then started the rinse. The dye ran down the drain and diluted into a nice cranberry color...mmm...cranberry...Thanksgiving dinner, hot juicy turkey, mashed potatoes with cream cheese and butter, smooth gravy poured over moist stuffing...and pecan pie...but I digress.

Grumble, growl...that's my stomach, excuse me while I take another gulp of lemon juice.

I drove to the salon to get my haircut. It is right next door to the Chinese restaurant with the scrumptious cashew chicken and to die for egg rolls...mmm...and those little sugar sprinkled donuts...but I digress.

So now my hair is dry and looks the color of cinnamon sticks resting in a steaming cup of cocoa and I have fifty-seven more glasses of lemon juice to go.

Thanks for stopping by...hmm, by...pie...chocolate Hershey pies from Burger King...but I digress.


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